The following is not an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
2005
Impatiently I sat behind the dilapidated car at a 4-way stop sign waiting for it to move through the intersection. Car after car after car after car, the driver let go by without taking his turn. Impatiently and hoping to hurry him along I nudged up to him in my brand-new ride which I had just paid more than the average American’s annual income. Finally, when no more cars were left for him to yield to, Mr. Courteous began to creep along at turtle velocity.
Mr. Courteous looked over at me and gave a slight nod with a large genuine smile. His once white dress shirt now dingy and threadbare was clean and pressed. His worn tie was neatly tied in a perfect knot. “Loser! How could someone in such circumstances be so happy?” I mumbled. Satisfied my horn honking and throwing him my cruel look of wrath would no doubt ruin his day, I hurried on to work.
All that day I replayed the scene.
I had become a very successful businessman. Not too many years before I had been driving a vehicle in similar condition and wearing comparable left-over clothing from when I served a mission. Now I had acquired more wealth than I ever dreamed of. A successful business, an enormous home with a huge pool and water slide, two brand new vehicles, an RV and garage full of other toys and gadgets. Yet I was surprised none brought a sense of fulfillment. My mind reflected on the words my mother repeated hundreds of times throughout my youth, “Remember who you are, where you came from, and what you want to become”.
I didn't like who I was
Despite my recent worldly successes, I felt lacking as a husband, father, son, neighbor and friend. I didn’t really want to change my ways but felt I should try. I simply prayed, “Help me Father to want - to want to change, to find fulfillment, to want to see others as Thou wouldst have me see them and to want to become what Thou wouldst”. This was the best I could do since I really didn’t want - to want to change.
Over the next few days, I noticed a significant increase of insight into my true character. My once seemingly few minor shortcomings and insignificant deficiencies began to irritate me. “Why do I judge others so harshly? Why do I think myself more important than others? Why do I have little patience and feel so irritable?”
I re-read chapter 32 of Alma and realized the “seed” of change had been planted in my soul. I had prayed to God to help me want to change, to become what he wanted me to become, to be humble. My seed began to grow so that I could now begin to see what needed to be changed. A few weeks later, I surpassed wanting to want to change, and began wanting to change.
I continued to see more and more of the things that needed improvement and change. Perhaps it was the Holy Ghost who the Lord uses to inspire us to change. My prayers began to morph into “Father, I would follow thee, but please don’t make me give up this or that, I’ve earned it.”
Months later, I began to understand what Christ meant He when said I “cannot serve God and Mammon”. I held my possessions too high in regard. Although I wanted to serve God and build His kingdom, I still put too much emphasis on gaining material things.
Finally, after months of battling my will, I went into my closet again and prayed. This time I did not ask to want to change. I felt some of what of Enos must have felt when he cried “my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto Him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul”.
As I prayed, it seemed I could remember every one of my sins, each with crystal clear clarity. My soul was racked with pain, sorrow, and regret. I trembled and felt a glimpse of what hell must be like. To know I had openly disappointed Father and Christ, who sacrificed all for me, an ungrateful, slothful, spoiled, selfish child. I sobbed and pleaded for forgiveness of my pride and asked Him to do with me whatever He wished even if it was to take all that I had. I knew He expected much more from me and I wanted desperately to change into a better son, father, husband, priesthood holder, neighbor, and friend. I wanted to be one who could be worthy of being called a son of God.
During my studies of the life of Jesus Christ, I began to discover He didn’t seek out the multitudes, He sought out the ONE. For each ONE is a child of God. Each ONE is just as important to God as another. Over the next several months I experienced an overwhelming desire for God to “mold me in Thine hands and to do what thou wouldst have me do.” Never had I imagine the wondrous events which would lie ahead:
The ONE stranded woman who needed a new tire but had no money.
The ONE lonely man outside the home improvement store who needed to talk for two hours of God and His plan of happiness.
The ONE neighbor who having a hectic week didn’t have to worry about the landscaping when he returned home from work.
The ONE elderly couple who needed their house re-roofed but could not afford the shingles nor was physically able.
The ONE new neighbor who just moved in the neighborhood and was worried if they would meet any friends, and we shared our love, testimony of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
The ONE widow who needed her landscaping done but could not do it.
Spending time to listen to the ONE young man who was full of anger by his father’s infidelity and abandonment of his family.
The ONE young mother at the grocery store who was short of money.
The ONE older mother who had no money to buy groceries.
The ONE stranded young father who lived 35 miles out of my way who made it home safely and on time to his family.
Buying a couple of cases of diapers for the ONE family who just had twins and were out of money.
The ONE father of a teenage son who wrecked a truck and needed a tow in the middle of the night.
Being a non-judging friend to the ONE who was having marital trouble.
The ONE family we secretly dropped off bags and bags of groceries to, later to find out they were desperately needed.
Secret Santa for various ONE’s; less fortunate families every year.
To call the ONE troubled young man regularly after 10 years of being released as his young men’s leader just to say “Hi” and let him know he’s still important.
Giving consistent and genuine love and friendship to the ONE young man who did not live the standards needed to serve a mission and now felt “shame in letting everyone down”.
Spending the day as a nonjudgmental friend with the ONE young elder who came home early from his mission.
Coordinating reading classes for the ONE father who’s struggled with reading his entire life.
Doing multiple car repairs for the multiple ONE’s who could not for themselves.
The ONE stranded family in a broken-down car with a baby girl suffering with heat stroke in 110+ degree desert summer day with no water.
Helping the ONE install a fence.
Helping the ONE father who, for the first time, used the Holy Priesthood to bless his wife and each of his children.
And perhaps most important, being worthy to offer the ONE a priesthood blessing each time it was needed.
2009
My then successful business has failed and we lost our home. The RV was repossessed and the garage full of toys and gadgets is gone. Worldly riches came and went. My new transportation is an old bicycle with gray duct tape covering a torn seat. I have continued to pay an honest tithe during both feast and famine, for it is a true principle and the blessings and promises are real. I will always pay more than a generous fast offering compared to my income for it is what the Lord asks of me.
My family has prospered in the land just as the prophets have declared: all my children study their scriptures independently and for themselves. All have a testimony of Jesus Christ, that He lives and seek Him individually in personal prayers and actions. All know God answers our prayers in His way and in His own time.
The Lord has blessed and sustained me and my family during our times of trial. I regret to say I have complained much about the loss of my worldly goods. Bitterness and ingratitude have too often filled my soul. Yet I continued to pray to my lovingly and patient Heavenly Father to not give up on me, to not allow me give up on myself and to please help my family and I endure to the end.
A wise Stake President once told me “The Lord often pulls us kicking and screaming to our greatest blessings”. Through all my stubbornness and complaining, He continues to pull me toward greater blessings than I once thought possible, I am forever grateful for the Lord loving me enough to not give up on me, to mold me into a much better person. I now seek the promptings for opportunities to be His hands and to serve the ONE. In this day of economic turmoil and moral decay, there is much to do, many burdens to lift and many opportunities to serve. I am thankful for Jesus Christ and pray and strive to become His.
I wish I could know who “Mr. Courteous” was from 4 years ago; I would embrace him and thank him for his genuine smile which stirred something within me that day. If you pass a humbled man on the road riding an old bicycle with gray tape covering a torn seat, reflect on the importance of the “ONE”, for it is He whom he seeks to serve.
2019
Ten years have passed since I wrote this experience. It has been a long roller coaster ride. The Lord has always blessed us with mana.
Since then, miracles continue to happen in our family’s lives. All our children have or are currently serving full time missions. All have gained a testimony that Jesus Christ is their Savior and friend for themselves. And now all of our children ever seek out the ONE and strive daily to be the Lord’s hands in blessing the lives of others.
Thank you, Lord, for humbling me. For allowing me to suffer financially, physically, mentally and spiritually. For bringing me down to my knees so that I may rise again by helping lift others along the way.
-Anonymous
