I was recently reading the life sketch of one of my ancestors, Hannah Brees Jackson. In her history, she shared the experience of bearing her eighth child, a little girl. Hannah’s older daughter, Sadie, took care of her during her recovery. Hannah recounts, “I never had better nursing or more tender care, and so for this I told Sadie she might choose a name for the baby. Pearl was the name she selected. It is now a favorite family name. I have a daughter, a granddaughter, and three great-granddaughters named Pearl. A precious string of Pearls for which I am grateful. Pearls that will belong to us...forever and ever.”
Since reading this small entry, I have thought many times about my own “string of pearls”; the courageous women that have been examples to me and passed on their legacy of grit, forgiveness, love and faith. Some of these women are related to me; some are not. In speaking of the women in my realm of influence, I do not wish to downplay the influence of amazing men in my life as well. But, to quote Martina McBride, “This one’s for the girls!”
I like to think of myself as being in the middle of that string of pearls -- a pearl becoming more beautiful and valuable with time because of what I take from the other pearls on the string. Being in the center means there are women before me, and women after, that I am meant to influence. So who are the pearls on my string?
Pearls of the Past
First would be my mother. Her childhood was different from what you might expect in the 1960’s. Her father worked as a missionary, traveling to different parts of the world helping local church members build their chapels. My mother got to travel and experience the cultures of different areas, which gave her a diversity of knowledge and a great love for all people that she passed on to her own children. Later, she married and had 8 children, of which I am number 5. Raising that many kids close together with very little money must have been intensely stressful, but, she used her talents in creative ways that allowed every penny to be pinched. Though she battled depression, she was always ready with a smile to talk to any one of us kids and still treats us as her best friends. She has faced her trials with faith and has passed on that legacy.
Next would be my maternal grandmother. We were fortunate to live only 10 minutes away from Grandma and Grandpa growing up, so they were a big part of my early childhood. They would take us out on dates for our birthdays, and have us over for sleepovers. As a college student, I would try to visit them on long weekends. We would sit for hours at the table as my grandparents told stories of their travels and the amazing faith of the people they knew. It was Grandma who taught me to write out the pros and cons when I had to make a decision. And it was Grandma’s opinion that I trusted.
I would also have my paternal grandmother on my string. She was another woman of faith. In 1963, her husband died suddenly, two days before Christmas, and she was left behind with 4 of her 7 children at home. (My father was only 11 at the time.) She courageously worked hard as a schoolteacher to provide for her children. Any time she came to visit, she would play with us, and she genuinely cared about what was going on in our lives.
I could go further back to include amazing women like Hannah Brees Jackson, who left family and comfort for the faith that she held dear. Reading her journals, I can feel how tenderly she loved her husband and children. Another amazing ancestor faced scathing humiliation in the face of loss and tragedy. Yet through it all, she remained forgiving of her accusers.
All of these women, and so many more, have a pearl on my string. And I can’t stop at blood. Many other incredible women have influenced my life and encouraged me to be the best I can. They, too, have a pearl on my string.
Pearls of the Future
The beauty of this string we are building is that it doesn’t -- or at least shouldn’t -- stop at us. To my left, I have women from my past (and present) who have influenced me; to my right, I have those that I wish to influence.
First would naturally be my own daughter. She is so much more intense than I am in every way possible, but she brings richness to our family that was void before her birth. She’s funny, musical, smart, and has an amazing ability to make the people around her feel loved and happy. I hope that what I am teaching her through my words and my actions is good. And I hope that she will desire to pass it on to her future family. My son is also an amazing human being, but again, “This one’s for the girls!”
But we can’t stop with our own children. What about the children in our neighborhoods? In our schools? In our congregations? We have the opportunity to influence so many girls and women around us, and shouldn’t they also be added to our strings?
A Thought on our Influence
How do we use the examples from the past to influence the future? We can start by appreciating the natural gifts of being female. Consider what prominent Christian leader, James E. Faust, once said. He referred to femininity as “the divine adornment of humanity.” He continues,
“It finds expression in your … capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each … possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.”
Being feminine makes us beautiful! And when we let that beauty show, others will gravitate to us and we can influence each other. I love how Margaret Nadauld, another Christian leader, said it:
“The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”
I hope we all women that have influenced our lives for good. (If you don’t, use mine above. Come be part of my family!) If we take what they have given us, we can and will be beautiful, inside and out.
When we consistently practice these characteristics of tenderness, kindness, refinement, faith, goodness, virtue, and purity, we can happily put on our “string of pearls”, confident that we have been influenced by amazing women in the past, and that you are spreading that influence to the young women of the future.
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